“Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let him resolutely pursue a solitary course; there is no fellowship with the fool.”– The Dhammapada
Many of us hold onto toxic people in our lives.
We adamantly cling to these relationships because we feel some sort of obligation to stay tied to them.
Toxic people are vampires that drain precious psychic energy from us.
These kinds of people also influence our behavior through osmosis. Soon than later, we end up becoming just like them.
Some of us are quick to play victim although we are actually enabling these people through our unconscious behaviors towards them.
In this video I am going to share with you 5 ways to let go of toxic people.
Many people throw the word “toxic” around to label others that tend to be consistently negative.
These toxic people have the effect of being a nuisance in a variety of ways. One of which can be someone who is a “downer” who sees the bad in everything.
But I believe that every subject is two subjects and toxic people cannot exist without our participation in their behavior.
One way we may be contributing to such toxic behavior is by gossiping:
“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.”Israelmore Ayivor
Let’s begin by talking about the first way to let go of toxic people.
1. Recognize the toxicity in them stems from the dysfunction in you.
We need to realize that our inner world creates our outer world and all the people in it.
“The world without is a reflection of the world within. What appears without is what has been found within. In the world within may be found infinite Wisdom, infinite Power, and an infinite Supply of all that is necessary, waiting for unfoldment, development and expression. If we recognize these potentialities in the world within, they will take form in the world without.”– The Dhammapada
This is why we need to audit the contents of our inner world to pluck the weeds of dysfunction. This ensures the eradication of potential for toxic people showing up in our experience.
In order to do this we have to ask ourselves: what toxic behaviors do WE exhibit? What content are we feeding ourselves on a daily basis?
When we address these basic questions, we can rightfully get rid of all that encourages toxicity in us then we get rid of our unconscious appetite for toxicity in others.
2. You can’t save them so don’t even try.
Stop feeling sorry for those who are toxic, it is not your responsibility to fix them.
Some of us are empaths. We know that a toxic person is just a wounded child who is acting out in desperation for help. But it is not our responsibility to fix them.
When we try, all we do is enable this behavior because we are not equipped to fix them.
This is something they have to do some serious soul searching for.
Your best bet is to call the relationship right then and there and walk away.
3. Make the effort to be around people that make you feel good.
This is similar to the law of attraction in the sense that if we want to attract better experiences in our lives, we must reach for better feeling thoughts.
The better our thoughts make us feel, the quicker our experiences manifest.
Apply this same principle to the people your spend time with.
Jim Rohn said “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Make an effort to hang out with people who actually make you feel good when you speak to them.
These people usually aren’t fear mongering, complaining or gossiping.
The conversation you have with these people are positive and empowering.
So if you manage to have a conversation with one of these people in passing, make an effort to connect with them and add them to your social circle.
Remember, we are influenced by our environment and people through osmosis.
4. Cut off contact completely
This one is simple and it stems from you straight up recognizing that the relationship or friendship is toxic.
Cut off contact completely even if you have to ghost them.
There is no justification in warning a toxic person of your departure from the relationship.
Just let it go immediately.
5. Tap into your support system.
Hopefully you have a support system in another close friend or family member that you can lean on.
This person is typically objective and serves as a voice of reason.
This is particularly important if you are a people pleaser who tends to feel sorry for others.
Do not be afraid to confide in someone in order to hold you accountable.
If you don’t have a strong support system, work on building one far away from those you deem toxic.
Now that you are armed with 5 basic ways to let go of toxic people, give them a try.
This is not going to be easy or maybe it will, either way, it will be beneficial for you in the long run.
Not only is our peace of mind and overall mental health dependent upon good social relationships, a big part of our success comes from positive social relationships.
It’s time we start getting intentional with the company we keep as we as a species become more interconnected.
Long gone are the days when we used land line phones and direct mail to keep in contact.
Communication these days are fast and direct which can be beneficial if we are connected to good people but detrimental to our mental health if connected to toxic people.